If you have never been to mediation, it can feel uncertain. This guide walks through the process from start to finish so you know exactly what to expect.
Many people arrive at mediation without having experienced it before. The unfamiliarity can add to what is already a stressful situation. Understanding what to expect at each stage helps you prepare practically and emotionally, and means you can focus on the conversation rather than worrying about the process.
This guide explains what happens from first contact through to the end of a session, including what the mediator does, what you will be asked to do, and what the possible outcomes are.
The process begins with a brief, confidential conversation, by phone or via a contact form. You speak with us about your situation: what the dispute involves, who the parties are, and whether mediation may be a suitable option.
This is not a commitment to proceed. It is an opportunity for us to understand the basics and for you to ask any questions. We will give you an honest assessment of whether mediation is likely to be helpful, and if not, why not.
If the matter involves family or parenting issues, we will explain the Family Dispute Resolution (FDR) requirements and what registration is relevant.
Before any joint session takes place, the mediator meets separately with each party. These individual meetings serve several purposes:
These sessions are confidential. What you share during your individual intake is not passed on to the other party unless you give permission.
What you share in your individual session stays between you and the mediator. The intake is your opportunity to speak freely and to get across the things that matter most to you.
After individual intake sessions, both parties are briefed on what to expect in the joint session. The mediator will explain:
You may be asked to bring relevant documents, particularly for commercial or property matters. For most family mediations, documents are less central, and the conversation itself is what matters.
This is the main event. The joint session brings both parties together, facilitated by the mediator. Depending on the matter, it may run for a few hours or a full day. Sessions can be held in person at one of our offices, or conducted online.
The mediator opens by briefly summarising the process, confirming the ground rules, and reaffirming that the session is confidential. Each party is given the opportunity to make a short opening statement, describing their perspective and what they are hoping to achieve.
The mediator guides a structured conversation to explore the key issues. This is not a debate or an argument, and it is not a chance to relitigate the past. The focus is on understanding each person's interests, concerns and priorities, and finding where there is common ground.
The mediator may ask questions, reflect back what they hear, reframe issues in less charged language, and help both parties understand what the other person actually needs.
During the joint session, the mediator may meet privately with each party (called a caucus). This allows each person to discuss options or concerns without the other person present. What is said in caucus remains confidential unless you choose to share it.
As the session progresses, the conversation moves from understanding the issues to exploring possible solutions. The mediator helps both parties identify realistic options, consider their implications, and move toward workable outcomes.
You are never required to agree to anything. The mediator will not pressure you toward a particular outcome. If an option does not work for you, you can say so.
At the conclusion of the session, one of several outcomes is possible:
Both parties have reached agreement on all the matters discussed. The agreement can be documented in writing during or after the session. Depending on the type of dispute, you may wish to have a lawyer review and formalise the agreement before signing.
Agreement has been reached on some but not all issues. This is still meaningful progress. The remaining issues are clearer, and further steps, including another session or referral to other processes, can be planned.
The parties did not reach agreement. This happens, and it does not mean the process failed. Often, the conversation has still moved things forward, improved understanding, and clarified what the actual remaining disagreements are. For family matters, the mediator will issue a Section 60I certificate where applicable, allowing the matter to proceed to court if needed.
It is worth being clear about this, because it is one of the most common misunderstandings about mediation.
The mediator does:
The mediator does not:
The best preparation is clarity about what you need from the process. Before your session, it can help to:
You do not need to have everything figured out before you arrive. Part of the mediator's job is to help you get there during the session.
A confidential first conversation with us costs nothing and carries no obligation. We will explain the process for your specific situation and answer any questions you have.
Book a Confidential ConsultationBook a confidential consultation. We will explain what mediation looks like for your specific situation and answer any questions.